Fifty Shades of Klaus : Chapter 12

My phone beeps with the incoming message.

Need you to cover for the firm in the art exhibit this coming Friday. Write a critique about it. Submit it as soon as possible.

The message is from an unknown number I didn’t recognize. It’s probably Marcel, or the chief editor. I hide my phone in my purse and take another swing on the bottle of beer in front of me as I watch my best friend dance with her boyfriend. I assume too much from her. Yes, she promised me a celebration later tonight, but she never mentioned not having to invite Kol.

Maybe I’m just really not use to her being in a relationship. This is the first time I’ve seen her be in a serious one, which makes the matter even worst because her first serious one is a vampire. I sigh, taking another swing of alcohol.

This is going to be bad for her. The whole relationship is going to go down the drain — well, that is if he doesn’t drain her first. I love Bonnie, but the concept of vampirism is still so new to me and I find it sickening. They’re monsters, I know. I’ve watched the Twilight movie and Buffy the vampire slayer. The media might try to make others seem noble like how the Cullens are, but that was for mere entertainment.

I know better than to believe that those kinds of vampires exist just because they believe in the greater good. Maybe there are vampires as such that exist, but it’s obviously just because of the recent movies that gave them the idea of it. Those vampires must have such a dire love life that they decide to take on that challenge in hopes of finding their own Bella. I think it makes them seem desperate, not romantic.

“Why aren’t you joining us for a dance?” Bonnie asks, taking the seat opposite mine. I notice her looking down to my bottle of beer, so I push it towards her. She smiles and sips from it. “Thanks.” She and Kol sits side by side together on the seats opposite mine, as I stay the only single girl in the booth.

I give them a small smile, “My latest club escapade isn’t exactly worth the trip down memory lane. Honestly though, I’m fine on my own. Go have fun.”

Kol gives his girl a dopey-eyed look. It made me want to gag, but I let out a little chuckle instead. They look so stupidly in love. I sigh. Perhaps it makes more sense for me to let go of my frustration for their love affair. It’s not entirely that bad. The only matter that gets in the way is my hatred for vampires. Their relationship isn’t really my business. And it seems like Kol really loves her.

A faint cough catches my attention. I look up, “We’re worn out, let’s ditch.” Bonnie gets up from the booth and waits for his beau to stand with her. He takes her hand in between his own and awaits me to follow them.

Letting out a small sigh, I take my bottle with me as we walk out the club together. I hear a voice, “I’m hungry. Where do you think we should eat, Caroline?” I shrug both my shoulders, as I knew that my opinion don’t matter when I’m spending time with a couple. The only opinion that would matter for one half of the duo is the other half of the duo, in this case, Kol. “Do you have any ideas, Kol?”

A British accented hum hangs in the air. British accented hum! Oh my God. That is so nerdy. I take the last half of my beer in one swing. Yes, let the alcohol take over. “I happen to know a fine dining restaurant nearby that my family enjoys dearly. Shall we make a leave for a meal there?”

I laugh, “Shall we make a leave?” I’m all about equality and stuff like that but his manner of talking just simply won’t work for me this time. “You’re the only one born from over a century ago, Kol. Speak English!” I continue my merriment, but it wasn’t reciprocated.

Bonnie was glaring at me, “That’s not very nice, Caroline.” I sigh. I know I wasn’t being nice, but the alcohol is consuming and I was desperate to get rid of the vampire. I’m trying to make amends with him, but my subconscience just isn’t as agreeable tonight.

“I’m sorry,” I apologize to Kol. “I think I had too much to drink. I should head home. This is your night, guys. Enjoy it. I’m sorry for ruining it for you.” Leaving a small smile as my sign of farewell, I turn my back to them.

Bonnie tries to convince me to stay, “Caroline. This is your night, your achievement. We don’t want you to think that our relationship is stealing your spotlight.” She pauses, “Stay with us. You’re not the third wheel. Come on, it’s going to be fun.”

I shake my head, “No. I think it’s better this way. I yet have to get used to the vampire thing and I think the best way to deal with it is staying away for a while. I need to reevaluate some things in my head. You should enjoy yourselves, because once I get in the train, you two are never going to have that alone time. I will constantly be stealing her away from you, Kol and you will be the third wheel.” The three of us laugh together, “So enjoy this thing you have together. I’m so happy for you two.”

She grins at me and gives me a hug. “I’ll call you a cab.” She walks into the streets and starts trying to hail a cab for me. That gave me time alone with the one vampire sibling.

“I appreciate your acceptance,” he said. I raise him a perplexed eyebrow. “I see your efforts to make amends with me. I know it’s difficult considering the new knowledge you gathered regarding my family, but I am thankful for the attempt.”

Nodding my head up and down, I reply to him, “I can see your sincere intents for her and I’m trying to convince my heart more than my brain to welcome you, but it takes time. Give it a year,” I joke. He laughs. “Kol, I’m really trying my best. I know you are aware of my attachment with your brother and that doesn’t even convince me enough to rethink about what he is, so it’s very unlikely that I would be hopping on vampire express any time soon. It’s not like the movies. They try to make it seem so poetic, so romantic, but that’s not reality.

“Reality is that I will die once he loses control. People around me will die. And I don’t even want to think about the worst.” His expression gives me a hint of confusion. I attempt to explain; “I don’t want for the time to come that I would want to turn because I want to be with him forever. I think the guilt of killing people for my own survival will be too much for me to handle. And I don’t want to be a vampire. Not on my bucket list.”

I see a little smile creep up his lips. “You forgot to consider one of the pleasant possibilities.” I return the confused look he gave me, “A possibility that he wouldn’t want to live in this world knowing that you are gone forever.” I purse my lips. I never considered that. “Power is something he worships for himself. Maybe the time will come that your connection be strong enough. He might learn to sacrifice power and everything else for you. Now, isn’t that a better Hollywood ending?”

A loud laugh escapes my mouth. “You’re right. You should be movie director.” I joke. We both laugh. “I can see that you really love her.” I say, nudging my head to Bonnie’s direction. Both our eyes look to that direction. A tiny smile crawls up the corner of his lips. “Are you even considering that form of sacrifice for her?”

He snickers, “I admire her greatly. In a short span of time, I am completely taken by her smile, her bravery and her inner strength. She’s a very strong girl. Having lost her grandmother who she loves dearly and losing her mother when she left them. At her age, it makes her very strong. And I am considering that form sacrifice once the time comes, but unpleasant possibilities cloud my imagination and I can’t quite imagine the future closely.”

“She’s strong.” I pause, “And I trust you.” He looks at me. “The only thing that’s stopping me from welcoming you is my heart. But with alcohol consumption, the heart tends to overcome the brain. And I consider myself very drunk right now. So you can choose to do the math,” I smirk, “or you can continue to imagine unpleasant possibilities. This makes math very decent, doesn’t it?” I flirtatiously raise my right eyebrow.

“Is this for real? Have I convinced you in a matter of minutes?”

I shout, “Hey! Don’t go taking all the credit for it. Bonnie convinced the brain first, and that’s the hard part. So you can take credit for doing the easy job.”

We both exchange smiles. I really wasn’t lying there. I think I’m actually okay with him now. His intents are pure and he can never handle hurting her. “But remember, she is a strong girl. Strong enough to put you down if you try to hurt her.”

“I couldn’t imagine hurting her. Emotionally. Or even physically. It’s basically impossible for that to happen with me on guard. Even with my blood sucking tendencies,” he chuckles to himself, “I can’t hurt her.”

Swallowing the mortifying truth down my throat, I nod to myself. He’s so in love with her. I can’t believe that it’s actually for real. It’s like a movie coming to life. It’s not as poetic, but it’s very Romeo and Juliet. That is the worst form of tragedy, but in Bonnie’s case, it makes sense. Kol would have to have lived for over a century by then. It would make sense to end his life for the woman he loves.

It could end suffering for the people that he could drain of blood at the backwash of her death. All of it would make so much sense. “Your cab’s waiting,” I hear Bonnie shout at me. I nod to her, giving Kol one last look. I mouth, “Good luck.”

“Wait!” Kol says. I look back to them. “I’ve convinced your heart about me,” he whispers. “Maybe you should try on your own to convince yourself about my brother.” Klaus. That’s a name I haven’t thought of over the course of the night. Giving him a reassuring nod, I return to walking over to my cab.

Reconsider about Klaus? That’s not too much to ask. I can do that. My face scrunch up in horror as I realize that it might never happen. I climb in the cab. I’m very drawn to Klaus, but I don’t think it’s enough for me to fully reconsider him. Yes, I can think about it, but accept him? Is acceptance even possible for this matter? I can consider Kol, because he truly loves her. And I see that, but Bonnie probably doesn’t see it herself. So if I try to consider Klaus, how can I be assured of his affections? The person to receive the affection, most likely never sees it.

Besides, I’ve seen his list on the closet. It’s terrifying. Does Kol even keep a closet like that? Does he have as much victims as Klaus? Probably not. For some reason, Kol seems more welcoming than Klaus. He has that aura in him that is more likeable than the King. And Klaus is creepy, and scary.

And to top that off, he can’t seem to understand the truth that I cannot be bought off by all the money in this world. It always seem like he’s trying to confess his affections to me through all those expensive gifts. I mentally sigh. Although…

The drawing.

That cost him nothing but a piece of paper, a few char and commitment to the work. Not materialistic, but realistic. It was a real gift. He gave that to me after I admitted of not being cheap enough to be bought by a gown, an offer of a trip with him to Paris, Rome or Tokyo and a few other gifts. I told him that he would never connect with people if doesn’t try to understand them. And since then, he’s been different. His approach to me has been different.

He’s told me about his fear of me running away from him. He’s told me of his fear of scaring me away. He wants me to know him better, but he’s scared. “I’ll be very saddened if you turn your back on me?”  I silently repeat his words from before. He’s making me know him better. Starting with the confession of his feelings right after I chastised him. I fancy you, is that so hard to believe? Praising me. You’re beautiful. You’re strong. You’re full of light. I enjoy you.

He asked me to know him better. Come on. Get to know me. I dare you. But I didn’t use that chance. So he overturned it instead. He tried to get to know me. I want to talk about you. Your hopes, your dreams. Everything you want in life. I allowed him very little access. So, he took me to his art collections. So that I would know more about him unknowingly.

The efforts that he went through are unnoticeable, but I see it now. The interview was also a way for me to see him differently, for me to be familiar with him even more. I mean, if somebody else asked for the interview, he probably would never have agreed. I mean, even the chief editor admitted to me of that fact.

He might be incapable of understanding me because I’m too much of a closed book, so he tried to be open to me. He tried to make me see who he was behind all those never-ending privileges. He was trying to make me the one to understand him, so that I could connect with him. So, that I could have that connection with him. So, that we could have a connection,

He tried so hard. Desperately hard. He even wanted to protect me from his kind; I wanted to protect you from any vampire's influence, and even from himself. Giving you vervain, a part of me also wanted to protect you from me. Because no matter what happens after today, no matter how you feel about this, you'll know that you were free to make your own choice. He could’ve compelled me, but he didn’t. He wanted me to make my own choices. I close my eyes.

I was so blinded. I never saw it, but it was staring right in front of my face. He was trying so hard to get my attention. He listened to everything I said since day one. He did so many things to impress and please me, but I was too disgusted with either my view of him as a playboy, or the fact that he is a vampire.

His being a vampire is a big issue to me, but I couldn’t find the courage in me to consider him because I never realized everything that he’s been trying to do. Blinded.

The cab comes to a stop as it reaches our house. I climb down. Holding my head up, I see a man crouched down, waiting at my doorstep. I make my way to his side. I look down on him, “Matt. What are you doing here?”

“You’re back!” he exclaims. He stands up and hands me a white envelope, “You didn’t come and get your paycheck. I wanted to make sure that it wasn’t because something bad happened. I’m glad you’re okay.”

I take the envelope with both hands. “I totally forgot. I’m sorry. I’ve just been so busy with work lately.”

“Yeah, I know. I saw the paper.” He smiles at me, “I think it’s great, Care. Congrats. Cami saw it too and she thought that it was pretty badass for you to have one published so early in your career. Your making your dreams come true and I’m proud of you.”

Smiling at him from ear to ear, I knew that we’re both back on the friendship train. “Do you want to come in?” I ask.

He nods, “Yeah.”

We both enter the house. My head bobs from side to side, examining the house. It was a disaster. “I’m sorry. Bonnie and I have been out of the house too much. Everything is a mess.” I say, trying to pick up some magazines from the floor to make the house look a little more decent. It wasn’t a percentage better though. “Do you want anything to drink?”

“Uhm, no. Thanks.” Matt says, taking a seat on the couch. “I heard about Bonnie.” I sit on the couch with him. “She’s seeing someone, and I heard it’s serious.”

I nod, “It is. Don’t worry. He’s a great guy. From whom did you hear it from?”

Is there a fourth person in this? Do we closely know someone else in the city that has been keeping tabs on us? He gave me a chagrined look. That look already told me his answer. “He saw her with him at a restaurant three nights ago. He’s not trying to be stalker creepy, but he’s staying for a while to keep tabs on you. He’s been asking me about you all the time.”

“He walked out on me! I didn’t deserve that treatment from him. We were best friends!”

“Were? Look, Ty’s just concerned about you. It doesn’t mean that you should throw your friendship to the past. I mean I don’t know the whole story. He couldn’t seem to be able to tell me, but I know enough. And I know Ty well enough to know that your safety is what matters most to him.”

I let out a heavy sigh. “My safety?” I say in chariness. “I bet he never mentioned to you how he compromised my safety when he was drunk.” He blinks twice in disbelief. His mouth hangs open. Obviously, he was lost for words to say.

Tyler’s been a great friend to both of us, but he’s also a jerk. The guys don’t get to see it as much as I do, but he’s a total wanker in my opinion. I love him to death, honestly. But it doesn’t mean that all my love for him can cover up his flaws. His arrogance is usually so insufferable that I hate being around him sometimes. Especially when he’s with his guy friends or when he’s being jealous. He just becomes unreasonable that I can’t even make myself stick around and watch him make a fool of himself.

Passing my hand through the hair on the top of my head, I look into Matt’s eyes, “Look, let’s not rehash this event. It’s not one that I like to keep around my memory palace.” He nods. On the contrary, it’s not even one that ever visited the memory palace. If it weren’t for Klaus’ retelling of the story, I would never have realized that it ever happened to me. I detest talking about it, because there is nothing that I could say about it.

The memory of it is nonexistent for me. I have no knowledge of it and I didn’t want to make up fake truths about a real happening that I never remembered witnessing. I sigh out the frustration.

“To tell you the truth, I didn’t come here just to leave your paycheck. I was actually really worried that something bad might’ve happened to you. I mean, you’re new in the city and you never bailed on anyone so I didn’t know that you were starting with me.” He says.

I frown, “Oh, Matt. I didn’t mean to.”

He laughs, “Yeah, I know. But that was really what I thought of before I came to stop by. And also, I didn’t like how our last conversation was left with those unspoken emotions in the way. I hate pretending that you don’t exist, Caroline. We weren’t that kind of friends.”

Smiling at him, I say, “I know. And trust me, I regret everything. It was entirely my fault. I was so mean to you, and — and —” I sigh, and let out a laugh. “Cami is so nice. I misjudged her from the first night I met her. I’m sorry.”

“She told me having you around would mean drama.” A roar of laughter escaped his lips, “She said that you were the dramatic kind.” I smile, “But she really wants to be friends with you.”

“Me too. I think she’s pretty badass too.”

We both exchange laughs and smiles until we both got so tired that the conversation had to end.